I write a weekly column called “Neighborberry.”
I post these essays on my blog a few weeks after each one is released. The publishers get first dibs. :)
If you would like to see "Neighborberry" in your local paper/website, please tell the editor to email me at kris@lslneighbors.com. Thanks so much!
Porches bring back whoopee (released 7/12/13)
After decades of deprivation, residents have had it. It
might not be a violent uprising, but this revolution should not be underestimated.
“Who stole my porch?” people are asking as front doors swing
open across the nation.
Porches have always been a good idea; it’s just that we
forgot this fact for a few years. Make the lemonade, baby. Porch living is
back. We just may have to improvise a bit.
Humans have a need to interact. Jobs and T-ball kept us
preoccupied for while; so we didn’t realize porches had been gradually fading
from our social landscape. Nowadays, many of us live behind stoops.
The porch offers us an opportunity to have a good time
without much commitment. There is no need to have the house clean before
socializing and no need to check the calendar ahead of time. It’s spontaneous.
This outdoor parlor is always in the mood for company.
Porches allow us to be semi-social while keeping one foot
inside our comfort zones. When on the porch, we invite others to have a “sit” and chat
a while. Though, as quickly as it
materializes, the visit may conclude. Everyone can retreat to their homes and
check email. This lifestyle is the best of all worlds.
My grandparents lived on a dead-end street and would
people-watch from their front porch while sitting on the flowered vinyl
cushions of their outdoor white furniture. Only 10 homes lined their gravel
road, and they had to identify every driver on it.
“What car is that?” Grandpa would ask. They would both lean
forward to get a better look.
“It’s Ron coming home from work,” Grandma would answer, and
then they would relax back into those vinyl pillows which emitted loud whoopee
cushion noises. That furniture provided an orchestra of sounds so offensive; it
could send a lunchroom of second graders into giggle spasms.
My other grandmother had a wrap-around porch with no
railings. It often became a stage, perfect for putting on a make-believe tap
dance show. A cherry tree grew in front and draped its branches onto stage
left. It didn’t discriminate against bratty pretend dancers. Low hanging fruit
was offered in abundance to everyone.
My mother-in-law’s sturdy bungalow porch was a playroom for
her kids and then, later, for her grandkids. It was a convenient spill-over
area when the living room became over capacity and also offered ample seating
to an aged, yet vocal, hopscotch audience.
Our first home as a married couple had a solid concrete
porch covered with indoor/outdoor carpeting. We could dangle our legs over the
edge without touching ground. We lived on a corner, so there were many
neighbors to greet as they took evening strolls. It was also an opportune spot
from which to leap and chase the ice cream truck.
Some porches face boring cul-de-sacs while the real action
is on a main road near the backyard. In that case, a rear deck can serve as a
neighborly perch. It’s close to the bar-be-cue grill, too.
Though porches have been eliminated from blueprints for
quite a while, the good news is that porch sitting always finds a way. Those
who want to watch the world go by will not be deterred. Many of them sit in open garages. This
arrangement works fine as does a lawn chair in the front yard. Just being
visible and open to socializing is all that’s needed.
Though I don’t have a porch, I am thankful they are in
fashion again. I can make do with my concrete front stoop.
Now, all I need is a
whoopee cushion.
Kris Kolk has been a writer and neighborliness promoter
for more than a decade. You can also visit her at www.neighborsabouttown.blogspot.com.
Email
her at kris@lslneighbors.com.
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