The party is when?

You know how it is.

Maybe you forgot a get-together. Or one of the kids neglected to tell you about the school BBQ and you're supposed to bring a dish to share.

Keep this recipe in your back pocket and the ingredients on hand. You never know when a party will sneak up on you!

AMBROSIA - QUICK AS A WINK!

Ingredients:

3 cans of chunk pineapple
3 cans of Mandarin oranges
1 jar of Maraschino cherries
Couple handfuls of mini marshmallows
16 oz (two normal tubs) whipped cream
Optional: shredded coconut, pecans, walnuts

Instructions:

Drain the fruit
Mix all ingredients, except whipped cream, in a pretty bowl
Gently stir in the whipped cream

Then, cover the bowl and hop in the car!

Have a lovely day!

Always picked last

 I write a weekly column called “Neighborberry.” If you would like to see "Neighborberry" in your local paper/website, please tell the editor to email me at krisjane7@gmail.com. 

Thanks so much!

Always picked last

By Kris Kolk

Our family holiday functions are not complete without the playing of board games.

Sounds like fun, but for me, it’s not. You see, many in my family are scientists. Since we usually play teams on trivia games, I end up sitting in silence while watching my teammates avoid the arts and entertainment categories.

Here’s what happened on Thanksgiving:

“Oh! We’ve landed on a green square. Read us the science question,” we demanded of the other team. Here was the question:

“What is the manner by which an amoeba’s contractile vacuole releases water to the systole?”

The entire table of players (except one) groaned, because the answer was so obvious. Our team almost took another turn without even answering such a simple one; but our opponents insisted on playing by the rules.

Everyone looked to me while shushing one another. They agreed to let me go solo since I’m rarely able to contribute. Unfortunately, the answer did not occur to me so easily.

“I have no idea,” I admitted.

The house rumbled as nine people chanted in unison, “Exocytosis!” Banter ensued regarding my negligence on pursuing all matters amoeba.

“Well, she’s had a long day,” someone justified for me.

I routinely petition our team to land at any pink or purple square to prove I’m not as dumb as they think. I just enjoy different topics than they do. Bach was a composer during the Baroque period. I also happen to know what a lute is.

But they don’t even pause at my favorite categories, not as long as a science question is within reach. The game is plagued with spicules, quantum electrodynamics, and molecular orbitals. I must admit, though, I’ve learned a lot from these mandatory lessons, I mean festive recreation. I now understand what makes popcorn pop, the names of the bones in the hand, and that lemurs purr.

The Thanksgiving game wrapped up as our opponents silently read the last question of the game before agreeing the card must have been misplaced from the Junior edition. I thought perhaps this would be my moment.

The question was: “What is the transformation rule for a pseudovector?”

The answer, “v’=(det R) (Rv)” was stated almost at the same time as the question.

The game ended quick as a wink (approximately 1000 picoseconds). My hypotheses on pseudovectors were unnecessary. Fine with me.

All I really wanted to do was enjoy the season in a traditional way. Nothing beats biting the phalanges off Zingiberbread men and making angels out of chilly crystalline oxygen and hydrogen flakes.

Kris Kolk has been a writer and neighborliness promoter for more than a decade. You can also visit her at www.neighborsabouttown.blogspot.com. Email her at krisjane7@gmail.com.

Broccoli-cheddar casserole

Here is a classic holiday potluck recipe. 

I attempted it once before except I used shredded cheddar. 

I think the secret is to use Cheese Whiz or a knock-off of it. The second try was the charm! 

Throw in some chopped ham pieces and you've got a meal.

Broccoli-cheddar casserole

Ingredients:

3 T butter
1 bag (16 oz) frozen broccoli
1/3 cup milk
1 can (10 ¾ oz) cream of mushroom soup
1 jar (8 oz) of Cheese Whiz or something similar
1 ½ cups Minute Rice
1 ½ cups water 

Directions:

Melt the butter in a skillet and sauté the broccoli until a bit tender.
Stir in the milk, soup, cheese sauce, rice, and water.
Cook and stir until the cheese is melted.
Pour the mixture in a buttered 9 x 13 pan.
Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

I'm curious. Is this how you make yours?

 

Egg rolls with spicy orange dipping sauce

I have made these easy egg rolls many times but keep forgetting to post the recipe. Well, here it is. 

The spicy orange dipping sauce is also good when you want to jazz up some bland chicken nuggets. Yum.

Egg rolls

Ingredients:

1 box of phyllo dough (1 pound box of 40 sheets)
1 bag of shredded cabbage (or slaw mix)
Butter, approximately one stick

Directions:

Grease a baking dish with butter.
Melt some butter in a bowl.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Unwrap one of the packages of phyllo dough and flatten 
  the sheets.
Cover with damp paper towels to keep them from drying. 
  They dry out quickly!
Grab a couple of sheets of phyllo dough and butter them.
Put some shredded cabbage at one end and roll it up, egg roll
  style. You can tuck the ends in but I'm lazy.
Continue until all the sheets of phyllo dough are used.
Brush tops of egg rolls with melted butter.

I only prepare half a box of phyllo at time since that much
   feeds my family.
Bake at 350 for 15 to 20 minutes until golden.

*Most of the time my phyllo dough rips willy nilly. I just go
    with it. No big whoop.

Spicy orange dipping sauce

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups water
2 Tablespoons orange juice
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 Tablespoons rice vinegar
2 1/2 Tablespoons soy sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Directions:

Mix ingredients and bring to boil.
Cool for 10 minutes.
Stir in 3 Tablespoons corn starch plus 2 Tablespoons water
  over low heat until thickened.

 

It is party time

I write a weekly column called “Neighborberry.”

I'm going to start posting these essays on my blog a few weeks after each one is released. The publishers get first dibs. :)

If you would like to see "Neighborberry" in your local paper/website, please tell the editor to email me at kris@lslneighbors.com. Thanks so much!

It is party time (released 7/5/13)

By Kris Kolk

Someone should get the ball rolling and be neighborly. It might as well be you. If you feel your home isn’t presentable enough for company, try these tips.

“Do I get the grand tour?” a guest might inquire upon arriving. If such a notion gives you twitches, just lie. You may want to rehearse your lines before the party.

“I would love to show you the bedroom, but my boa constrictors, Wilma and Leon, don’t fancy strangers,” you could say. Practice making sweeping motions with your arms to shepherd the nosy one into what you term “the safe part of the house.”

Perhaps you have a bathtub full of something you don’t want others to see, such as dirty dishes or Donny and Marie fan club memorabilia. Just dump those unmentionables into laundry baskets. Shove the baskets in the bedroom with Wilma and Leon. Define this as “organization” and feel good about the day.

Before hosting a party, my grandmother would wash, line-dry and iron her kitchen curtains. As a new bride, I caught myself doing the same thing. Grandma and I shared a chuckle about it. Nowadays, I just smack the top-layer dust out of the curtains with a dishrag.

Has paint peeled and left a 4-foot by 3-foot patch in the shape of The Ukraine on your living room wall? Cover it with construction paper and have the kids draw on it. Tell your guests it would break your heart to remove this precious artwork.

It astounded me to hear that other people clean a few days in advance of a party.  When my kids were young, I would tidy all day; but it always looked like a giant had been shaking our home as if it were a doll house. Pillows and blankets would appear in front of the television. Measuring cups and mixing bowls would be discovered in the baby’s room. Miniature fighter jets would wage wars in my underwear drawer. Though I am not a fan of “ahead of time,” some chores, such as cleaning the refrigerator, are best tackled prior to a gathering.

“Here. I brought you this 36-inch chocolate chip cheesecake,” your friend offers. “You might want to stick it in the fridge until we’re ready for dessert.” It is such a bittersweet moment when a guest contributes something chilled and decadent but also bigger than your pool.

Another help is to put away all the everyday dishes before the get-together. Clean. Dirty. Clean. Dirty. It’s the dishwasher circle of life. But when a party is afoot, an empty dishwasher can save your sanity.

After Thanksgiving dinner at my home, the dishwasher was busy washing sippy cups and cereal bowls. In the meantime, cranberry relish and turkey gravy hardened on 45 stuck-together plates. As pie was served, Grandpa tried to trade his great-granddaughter a cigarette for her clean fork.

Here’s another do-ahead tip: clean in and around your furniture. Just as soon as a guest gets out a pacifier for the baby, she drops it somewhere deep, dark and scary: under the cushions.

“Let’s move the furniture and look!” a booming voice proclaims while the baby shrieks. You witness in horror four men and an eight-year-old boy lift your couch. Unveiled is a well-established, thriving eco-system of dead and undead bugs, broken crayons, loner socks, fuzzy potato chips—and one pacifier. The scene is so ghastly, the baby stops crying. Her mouth falls agape.

Everyone has areas of their home in need of cleaning or renovation. So what? Confront these insecurities with a sense of humor and dedication to the neighborly crusade. You have the right to share life with friends and family in your own home!

Now, all that’s left to do is poop-scoop the front yard and turn on the one porch light that still works. Be neighborly. Not perfect.

Kris Kolk has been a writer and neighborliness promoter for more than a decade. You can also visit her at www.neighborsabouttown.blogspot.com. Email her at kris@lslneighbors.com.

Luncheon meat fit for a luncheon

It was the day of my just-because party. I invited a group of women to get together for some much needed girl time.

The chicken salad was prepared ahead of time. I made a cherry and pineapple dump cake and some sugar cookies. Fun slumber party type games were on the agenda. 

Anticipating the giggles and secrets, I almost forgot to set out the lunch meat platter. I grabbed the meats and cheeses and slapped 'em on a plate. 

My husband intervened. 

"Oh, no, no, no," he said.

"You shouldn't just stack stuff up like that," he said. "Fluff and fold." "Fluff and fold."

"This isn't laundry!" I exclaimed.

"For Pete's sake, at least unwrap the cheeses," said he.

He couldn't believe my callousness and indifference about the matter. 

I've since learned--it DOES look better when you fluff and fold your lunch meat...and unwrap the cheeses.

I don't really have a point. This is just something I've learned about displaying lunch meat. 

I mean, LUNCHEON meat.

Have a lovely day.

Make Dad a Toasty Joe

We've grown quite fond of these cute little sandwiches. 

Toasty Joes are a take on traditional Sloppy Joes (or yip-yips as they used to say in the school cafeteria).

Toasty Joes

Brown 1 1/2 pounds of hamburger in a saucepan. Drain fat.

Add:
1/4 cup chopped onion or some onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon mustard
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3/4 cup catsup
1/2 cup bbq sauce
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)

Stir add-ins into the hamburger and cook on medium until heated throughout--about 10 minutes.

Instead of serving on a bun, we like it on toasted "everything" bread. 

Do you have "everything" bread where you live? It's a French bread loaf topped with everything--poppy seeds, garlic, herbs, sesame seeds, and I don't know what all. It's good.

Then add whatever toppings to suit each person. I like shredded cheddar cheese and black olives. You could add sliced onions, green peppers, jalapenos, fries, sour cream. Whatever!

I like that I can crank these out in a hurry for all the hungry loiterers in my kitchen.

Try 'em!

Birthday spice cake

I told you about the birthday party we had last weekend. Remember? The wrapping paper made out of an old helium balloon?

Well, his other gift was this spice cake. It wasn't "the" birthday cake to share. This one was a gift for the birthday boy to take home. It's kind of a tradition.

The recipe is eggless and milkless. I believe it was used often during the depression. It has the density of a fruit cake. 

This cake is heavy, man. Heavy.

When topped with a cream cheese frosting, it is a real treat. 

Happy Birthday Spice Cake

Ingredients

1 cup brown sugar

1 1/4 cup water

1/3 cup shortening

2/3 cup raisins

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 teaspoons water

2 cups sifted flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Boil the brown sugar, 1 1/4 cup water, shortening, raisins, nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves for three minutes. Allow to cool.

Dissolve the salt and baking soda in the 2 teaspoons of water. Add to the boiled mixture.

Sift the flour and baking powder together and add to the mixture.

Mix the walnuts into the cake batter.

Grease and flour an 8" x 8" x 2" loaf pan and pour batter into the pan.

Bake for 55 minutes. Allow cake to cool before frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

2 sticks of softened butter

4 ounces of cream cheese, softened

2 cups powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

Directions

Beat the butter and cream cheese together. Add the powdered sugar. Mix. Then add the vanilla. Mix well.

Frost all sides of the cake.

 

Since we were going out to dinner, I knew the cake would be out of the fridge for a few hours. So, I put it in the freezer for a while. (Dig the corn dogs in the back.)

I figured this would help the cream cheese frosting hang in there during the party. 

I only made one cake this week, so of course I have a craving for it. Guess I'll have to make one for our house, too.

Do you have a tradition of baking something in particular as a gift for someone?

 

Shared on these sites:
Adventures of a DIY Mom
Growing Home Blog
Handy Man, Crafty Woman

Birthday wrap. It's elementary.

Went to a birthday party last weekend. This was the gift we took. 

Did you guess the wrapping was a deflated helium balloon?

It's so sad when party decorations lose their passion.

I tried tossing them in the air, but they always drifted down again. 

Fortunately, these balloons got a second chance at life.

Sherlock knew what I had in mind. 

I cut open one side of the balloon. It could be used as a gift bag at this point.

I kept snipping, though, to use it as traditional wrapping paper. I like the way the material gave me a natural angle. I was able to fashion an envelope-look on the back.

Comfy in there, Sherlock?

Finger food frenzy

Raw meat wimp-out update: Things are looking up. Just a few months ago, I wouldn't have entertained the thought of making these chicken fingers.

Sure, I would cook chicken breasts in the oven, not that I wanted to. The family kept demanding to be fed, though. What's a mom to do?

"Ick, ick, ick," I'd repeat to release some raw meat heebie-jeebies as I draped chicken breasts one by one into the pan and then into the oven. 

A puddle of dish soap and a paper towel would be waiting for me at the sink. I couldn't get my hands clean fast enough.

I still don't enjoy the process but look at me go! This chicken fingers recipe is pretty hands-on, but if I can do it, you can do it.

Everyone agreed it was yummy. I think I'll do it again sometime!

Chicken Fingers

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups flour

1/8 cup baking powder

1 Tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

3 pounds of chicken breasts, thawed

2 eggs, beaten

1 stick of butter, melted

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.
2. Line a baking sheet with foil and grease it. I used olive oil.
3. Mix the first 8 ingredients in a large bowl.
4. Beat the eggs in a shallow dish.
5. Cut the chicken breasts into 1/2" strips.
     I used kitchen scissors and didn't even wear food handling gloves!
6. Roll some chicken pieces in the egg.
7. Then coat each piece with the flour mixture. Shake off excess.
8. Put chicken pieces on the foil-lined sheet. 
9. Drizzle with some butter.
10. Bake about 7 minutes. 
11. Turn the chicken over and bake another 7 minutes.
12. They should be white inside, not pink.
13. If they are at all pink, bake a few minutes more.

We had a finger food frenzy on Friday! 

On the menu: 

chicken fingers, cheese and crackers, pineapple chunks, pickles and green olives.

 No big whoop.

Hope you're having a lovely day! 

Homemade tortilla chips

Oh my goo'ness, you simply must try these homemade tortilla chips.

They are super easy but also crispy and good!

Tortilla Chips

Ingredients:
Soft-shell flour tortillas
Olive oil
Garlic powder (and any other spices which sound good)
Salt

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Lightly grease a cookie sheet with olive oil.
Cut the tortillas into four pieces...or eight pieces. Up to you.
Place the cut tortillas on cookie sheet.
Brush with olive oil.
Sprinkle with a bit of garlic powder.
Bake at 400 degrees for 5 to 7 minutes--until they are golden but not too dark.
Salt the chips as they come out of the oven.
Serve with a bowl of salsa.

 
Shared on these neighborly sites:
Mad in Crafts
Flour Me with Love
Tales from Trish
Adventures of a DIY Mom
Growing Home Blog 

Taco dip for you and me

Thought I'd share my favorite taco dip recipe.

TACO DIP

Ingredients

2 cans of refried beans
1 pound of shredded cheddar or taco-flavored cheese
Sour cream
Salsa
Lettuce
Chopped black olives
Chopped onions
Tortilla chips
Guacamole (if I had my way...but my family violently protests)

Instructions

• Spread the refried beans in a 9 x 13 microwaveable dish.
• Microwave according to bean directions.
• On top of the beans, spread some sour cream.
• Then spread some salsa.
• On top of the salsa, sprinkle most of the shredded cheese (save a little).
• Top the dish with chopped lettuce.
• Sprinkle the rest of the cheese on top.
• Decorate with dainty dollops of sour cream, salsa and...
       GUACAMOLE (living vicariously through you if you don't mind) 
• Add black olives and onions.
• Place a bowl of tortilla chips nearby to accompany your masterpiece. 

Is this recipe similar to your favorite taco dip??